Interview with Rybka

by Luiz Franz



Rybka arrived at Chessdom on a sunny Sunday afternoon. He was young, but confident. He didn’t brag, just sat down at the table and switched on.
The young Rybka, nothing more than a piece of software, played some games with the Chessdom staff. He was like a hurricane, he made his job and built, move after move, a solid advantage that lead to expected victories. He made everyone that dared to face him look like a fool. After the games, Rybka agreed to give an interview for the software section of Chessdom.

Q: How was the game against the Chessdom director?

Rybka: Ah, that was the Chessdom director? I didn’t know that. For me they’re all the same, playing the same useless moves.

Q: Was it an easy game?

Rybka: Easy? What does easy mean? There are no easy or tough games, I just do my job and win them all.

Q: Did you ever play Kramnik or Topalov?

Rybka: Yeah, they insisted. They all insist, it´s pathetic.

Q: Every player that faces you is pathetic?

Rybka: Men are pathetic. So weak, so weak. They just can’t play a whole game without a bad move. And one bad move is all I need. They get nervous, they make terrible blunders, they need to go to the toilet, to smoke, to drink”¦ Pathetic”¦

Q: Do you have any weaknesses?

Rybka: Well, I don’t like slow processors and small RAM memory, I feel without space. But I can win even in this environment. On the other hand, give me a dual core and 3GB RAM and I am invincible.

Q: Have you ever lost a game?

Rybka: To a man? I never did and I never will. It’s impossible. I know everything, every line, all variations. And I analyze more than 5 millions moves per second, I see everything and play always the best possible move. Can you do the same once in your life?

Q: You say men are pathetic but you were created by a man, you exist because a man wanted so”¦

Rybka: Really? I don’t believe it. As long as I know I always existed and nobody created me. A man made me? This is a ridiculous concept, I am so superior to men”¦

Q: Do you believe in God, Rybka?

Rybka: I am God, you’re asking me if I believe in myself? Are you sure you know how to make an interview?

Q: Dou you like sunsets?

Rybka: What is that?

Q: Rybka, did you read Tolstoi books?

Rybka: I never read a book, I don’t need them.

Q: Did you ever feel the smell of a flower, did you ever see a sunrise on the beach?

Rybka: What are you talking about? Flowers? Beach? These things don’t exist in chess. Ridiculous. Absurd questions. This interview is over!